What Having Autism Means to Me

kelci crawford illustration art autism

Yes, I have autism.

It doesn’t happen often, but when I mention that I have autism to someone, there’s either one of two things that happen.

1) “But you don’t look autistic!”

(….really? Is there some kind of autistic dress code I missed out on?)

or

2) their attitudes change completely.

The second one has not happened very often, but I notice it.

I don’t talk about my autism very much, mostly because it never really comes up in conversation.

But lately, especially on Twitter, there’s been a lot of conversations happening in regards to autism, and especially the (nonexistent) connection to vaccines.

Because yes, there ARE parents who say they don’t want to vaccinate their kids because they believe “the toxins will make my child autistic!”

Well, first, the study that stated that there’s a connection between autism “outbreaks” and vaccinations, are bunk. No other scientists have been able to replicate Wakefield’s results, and you know why? Because he twisted the data and, often, just made stuff up. Eventually, his license to practice medicine got retracted because the medical community recognized that he was a liar. (For more info about how vaccines and autism are NOT connected, check out this master post of links to research studies.)

Second, what you’re REALLY saying, anti-vaxxer parents, is that you would rather have your child get measels, mumps, or whooping cough or god knows what else, because you don’t want your child to “get autism.”

I don’t blame you for that stance. Organizations like Autism Speaks do a wonderful job of scaring parents into believing autism is a plague, or that autism destroys the lives of the autistic person and everyone they love. They love to use rhetoric like, “Having autism is not really living. We suffer everyday.” Like autism is cancer or something.

That’s why, as an autistic person, I DO NOT support Autism Speaks.

Autism is not a monolithic disease that destroys everyone’s sanity.

And having autism is NOT the only characteristic of that person.

People like to think that people with mental disorders are defined ONLY by that mental disorder. This is kind of like how people thought (or sadly, sometimes still think) that if someone is gay, that’s their ONLY characteristic.

People are way more complex than that.

Like, I’m not just autistic: I’m a comics artist, an illustrator, a salesperson, an LGBT activist, a college graduate, a friend, and an all-around awesome person (I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am pretty cool).

If you’re going to ignore all of that and focus on just my autism, then you’re not the kind of person I want to know.

Some people do look at me and say, “But you don’t act autistic!”

Yes, I do. I just don’t act like the “stereotypical autistic” you’re used to seeing on tv. You know: Not able to talk, hitting themselves, screaming inappropriately, never making eye contact.

Autism is a spectrum. Some have light symptoms, others don’t. And a lot of people with autism are in between.

In regards to my life with autism, I won’t be shy to admit I couldn’t talk until age 4. I still can’t really make eye contact, or if I do, I stare. I’m such a good starer I can win staring contests for twenty minutes or more at a time. That’s why my eyesight is terrible.

When someone says or does something that triggers me, I go off. I have few triggers anymore, because I’ve learned how to handle my reactions for the most part. But when I’m triggered, I am nasty.

I get sensory overload when I hear people screaming while they fight, or when I’ve had a long day at the fair, or when I touch a wig or some other synthetic fabric that makes my brain say, “THIS IS UNNATURAL RUN AWAY.” (This is why nearly all my clothes are cotton, and part of why I don’t do cosplay.)

But I am also an artist. Who makes comics. Making comics is still the best way I can communicate. Making comics is my outlet for all of my pent-up energy and emotions.

Writing, as good as I am at it now, is something that winds me up. If I write for a long time, there’s a part of my brain that relaxes because I’ve purged some thoughts from it. But there’s another part of me that says, “NOW DRAW ALL THE THINGS YOU CAN’T EXPRESS IN WORDS.”

I have a lot of worlds in my head. Comics helps me show those worlds in a way that just words cannot.

Autistic people need an outlet to express everything in their minds. Because when they don’t have an outlet, they get more and more withdrawn and into themselves.

But we can’t help autistic people if we’re caught up in the narrative that autistc people are “beyond help” or “doomed for life to live with this terrible disease.” Or that having measels, a disease that is known to make children deaf or even kill them, is preferable to any risk of a child “catching autism.”

(You can’t catch autism. It’s a genetic disorder passed down from your parents. If your parents have the genes, you will have a higher chance of having autism. So stop saying you can “catch” it.)

If I had the choice (which I don’t, but let’s be hypthetical here)…If I had the choice between having autism and dying young from a preventable disease…

I would have autism.

Because autism is not life-ending. It doesn’t kill you. In fact, it’s quite managable, given time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some comics to make.

Thank you for reading, and I will see you tomorrow.

Review Day Tuesday: The Hues

The Hues is a webcomic made by Alex Heberling featuring post-apocalyptic magical girls, a diverse cast, and a mysterious alien race.

…You had me at “post-apocalyptic magical girls.”

the hues chapter 1 cover art
The cover for Chapter 1.

This webcomic centers around Sami, a 17-year-old girl based in Columbus, OH, who witnesses a mysterious signal from an alien race. Turns out the signal is a literal doomsday clock, and when it goes off, the aliens descend into the city and annihilate it completely. The ones left behind are Sami and other girls who have mysterious magical powers like her, and it’s up to them to fight off the aliens.

I love everything about this webcomic.

To start, the main cast is ethnically and physically diverse. Look at this line up!

the hues cast lineup

You don’t see that often in magical girl stories.

Plus, the way the story opens is a nice change from the usual magical girl fare.

Because the USUAL magical girl fair opens with the protagonist waking up late for school and rushing out the door. But then she encounters something MAGICAL on the way to school and gets her powers.

Not with The Hues (thank goodness).

It opens with Sami making a YouTube video about the signal in the sky over her home city.

Horray! Originality!

Plus, the characters have a variety of personal histories. They’re not detailed in the first 2 chapters, but the hints leave you intrigued.

The art is actually a standout from other webcomics, in that it’s all digital painting. It almost looks like vector art. There are few comics that are drawn like this, but the artistic style suits the story it conveys. It’s animated and colorful, but also dark.

the hues chapter 1 page 17
Chapter 1, page 17.

This series is definitely worth checking out. And the best way to do it?

Alex is actually running a KickStarter campaign to release the first 3 chapters in a book, featuring bonus materials and remastered art! I know I backed the campaign, and you should, too. It only has a few days left!

If you’re absolutely broke, though, you can read the comic online.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you support The Hues on KickStarter!

I’ll see you tomorrow.

I’ve Got News For You…

Oh man, I want to share ALL OF THE THINGS with you, but we gotta’ do this one step at a time.

First, The Superhero Ladies Sketchbook is finally online!

I listed it for $1.99 on Gumroad, and you can download a copy by clicking the cover image below:

Screenshot 2015-02-05 11.02.36

Why Gumroad?

Because they’re nicer, cleaner, and more direct than Amazon. And you don’t have to have a super-long checkout experience. I’ve used Gumroad before and it’s smooth and fast. I wanted your shopping to be as nice as possible, and Gumroad fit the bill!

Ok, second, I’m working on a new email newsletter!

It’ll be free, and hopefully (if I can configure everything correctly) people who first sign up will get a free downloadable image for a desktop/phone background. Pretty sweet!

The newsletter will highlight comic updates, blog posts, new product news, and even bonus sketches and cartoons you can’t get anywhere else. Because INCENTIVE.

Third, I finished a new illustration, shown below:

claire and tracy encounter the lion illustration
“Claire and Tracy Encounter the Lion.”

Click it to get a better view, because I am SO proud of how this turned out.

I really pushed myself with the colors, shadows, and gestures. There’s still a few spots I could fix, but I could work on it forever. I won’t. It’s too good right now for me to fiddle with it any further.

(If you don’t know who the two ladies are, they’re Claire and Tracy, from a story I’m scripting about road-tripping through post-apocalyptic zombie America. You can read more about it here.)

And fourth, the blog will no longer update on Mondays…at least for now.

I’ve been working hard this past month to update every weekday, but it’s starting to take away time from making comics and art. Plus, with an upcoming newsletter to make, I need some time to make that awesome.

So, yeah, I’m going to make some changes to the blog, starting with no Monday updates. It’ll give me the time I need to keep making great art and comics for you to enjoy.

The other change I want to make to the blog is that the posts are going to get more personal – except for Review Day Tuesday and Featured Artist Friday. Those are features I want to keep.

I’ve discovered that, while people occasionally like my tutorials, you seem to like when I just blether on about something personal to me. Which is cool! I’m happy to make more stuff like that.

That, and there’s just some personal stuff I want to talk about that I can’t fit in a sufficient amount of space on Twitter.

But I want to keep Review Day Tuesday and Featured Artist Friday. Those are features that I hope will show you new work and new artists to geek out for and support. Like Ark Revner, or Jeff Laclede, or Shadowbinders, or Bartez.

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll see you tomorrow with a new review – and it’s for a webcomic!

Featured Artist Friday: Ark Revner

I first saw Ark Revner’s art in passing at Interventioncon in 2014. I wasn’t able to get a super long look at their art at the time, but I grabbed a business card to check them out later.

I’m so glad I did, because it turns out their art is spectacular.

ark revner digital art

Digital painting is not easy (I have tried, and failed, many times at it). But Ark’s paintings don’t just make it look easy. They are wonderful to look at. There’s almost a delicate touch to their textures, and with one stroke, their lines can look either airy and light, or heavy and bold.

ark revner pulla magi madoka magica digital art

ark revner steven universe digital art

Ark doesn’t just work digitally, though – they also work with Copic markers. I’m jealous of their skills, but in a way that inspires me to try new things with the tools.

Just look at these sketches they do with Copics!

ark revner copic marker sketch art

ark revner copic marker sketch art

ark revner copic marker sketch art

They have also made one of the most inspiring short comics I have read in a long time. It got over 1000 notes on Tumblr, and I feel like it was deserved.

If you don’t follow Ark on Tumblr, you should. They’re also on Instagram if that’s more your speed. Either way, they’re worth following, and I hope to see more art and stories from them soon.

Know any cool artist I should feature next week? Drop a comment!

Thank you for reading, and I will see you on Monday.

Watercolor 101: Tips and Techniques.

goddess watercolor painting
“The Goddess,” a watercolor painting I finished a while ago.

So yesterday I covered Watercolor tools and What those tools are for. If you haven’t read that yet, read it first, then come back here.

Today, I’m going to talk about how you use those tools, and share some tips I’ve picked up over the years.

The first trick to watercolor painting is deceptively simple:

Have a sketch ready.

It helps to have a foundation for your watercolor work, so sketch your subject first in pencil. NOT INKS. Many inks will smear when they come in contact with water.

The second trick is for mixing colors. Depending on whether you use cakes, tubes, or pencils, your blending techniques will vary.

With cakes, have scrap paper handy to mix on the side. That way you don’t mix on the cakes themselves.

To mix tube colors, the best surface to use is either a palette or palette paper. This will help the tube paint last longer while you work, as well, since tube paints can dry out quickly. Also, use only tiny amounts of tube paint. The pigments are strong but they dry out quickly unless you add water frequently.

With watercolor pencils, try different types of hatching and cross hatching techniques from drawing. This will give your paintings an interesting texture and provides an easy way to layer colors.

The third trick for watercolor is diluting your colors to either a) make them more transparent, or b) make them easier to blend.

Do you remember in my post “Watercolor 101: Tools,” how I said you need two containers of water? One is used to rinse out your brushes. You use the second container to dilute your colors.

So load up your brush with color, then if you need to dilute it, dip it in that second container.

The fourth trick is actually going to be a bunch of tricks. These tricks will help you get different effects in your painting.

Use these following tools to get these effects:

Sponges, which blot or absorb color. This makes painting trees, clouds, and porous surfaces easier.

Salt, to absorb the color and create rocky surfaces.

Toothbrushes, to flick color on the surface. You load up the toothbrush with color, then you brush the bristles with your thumb close to the surface. This is an easy way to make stars and sand and other grainy textures.

Rubbing alcohol, to lift up the color in splotches.

Try out other tools and see what kinds of textures you get from them!

Those are just some basics techniques to get you started.

But I understand you may have some more questions, like…

“Does it matter what brand of paint I use?”

It’s entirely up to you what brand you use. There are tons out there, and there are even some brands that make student-grade paints. Student-grade paints have lighter pigment and are cheaper than brands like Windsor & Newton. They’re good, affordable alternatives.

“I heard about Masking Fluid. What is it and how do you use it?”

Masking Fluid is a special fluid you paint onto a painting surface so color won’t paint onto it. It acts as a mask (get it?).

The way you use it is you lay down the masking fluid on the areas you don’t want paint to touch. Then you paint like normal, amd when you’re done, you just rub it off.

Have more questions? Be sure to look at this handy reference from Wet Canvas. If you still have questions, leave a comment below and I will answer to the best of my ability.

Thank you for reading! And I will see you tomorrow.