A Reflection Upon Reading Braiding Sweetgrass

This was originally given as a talk at a local Unitarian Universalist congregation. Parts of it have been edited to better adapt to being a blog post.

This will also have mentions of AI, as well as discussions of violent content and descriptions of waste. Reader discretion is advised.

I have now read this book, Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, twice. And both times, two stories stood out to me, both tackling the same root theme:

The Thanksgiving Address, and the Wendigo.

The Thanksgiving Address is in a chapter where the author discusses a practice common among Native American groups in the New York state region. In this practice, before any official business or school can be conducted, the people all give the Thanksgiving Address, a multi-part address, with each part narrated by a different speaker, in which the people thank specific attributes of nature for their gifts. “We thank the water for quenching our thirst and giving us life; We thank the birds for gifting us song and watching over us in the skies,” etc. The address doesn’t just have thanks – it’s also a statement of accepting responsibility. For humans are the only species aware of, and with the ability to take, our responsibility to be stewards of the water, the earth, and the Earth’s creatures. “We thank the water for quenching our thirst and giving us life. May we endeavor to keep the waters clean for our nonhuman siblings who drink from the same waters as us.”

This isn’t a one-sided “master over the elements” relationship. It’s a reciprocal one. Over and over, throughout the book, Robin Wall Kimmerer stresses that the relationship we humans have with nature is a reciprocal one. If we treat our gardens well, then there will be berries and wild things. If we tear down our trees, then we are left with barren rocks. If we poison our water, we will have none to drink and neither will the salamanders or the birds. But if we clean up our water, then we will have salamanders and fish and birds again.

The Thanksgiving Address stood out to me as an organized practice of gratitude among a collective of people. This is unheard of, especially given that we live in a society whose central tenant is this: “For all the wealth it professes to make, the central tenant of the market economy is that there is scarcity.” That’s a direct quote from the book, but it’s true – we live in a society that pushes scarcity on all of us. And when you live in a scarcity mindset, you more often than not look at relationships in a transactional way. “What can you do for me? My time and energy is limited. If you cannot give me something in return, then I’m not sticking around.”

Whereas, if you are raised in the Thanksgiving Address and the ideas such a practice supports, you start to think, “Well gosh, I’m glad we have birds in the sky, and water to drink and earth to grow our fruits and veggies with. There is abundance all around me. I need to take care of it, or else it will disappear.” This may sound like it’s still a reciprocal relationship, but here’s the truth – even if humans disappeared overnight, water will still flow, birds will still sing, flowers will still grow and the Earth will keep going. Life. Goes. On. That doesn’t absolve us from the responsibility of being mindful of what we do. There are segments of the book dedicated to the Honorable Harvest, which includes the practice of not taking the first thing you see, of leaving the last of a thing behind, of giving a gift to nature before you harvest something. The Honorable Harvest as a practice is about stewarding the harvest so that you’re not the only one benefiting from it.

To elaborate on that further, I have to bring up the other story that stood out to me in this book: The Wendigo.

My apologies to the Indigenous listeners in the audience, because Wendigo as a concept is not something to be taken lightly. Too often, Wendigo is treated as a monster-of-the-week in movies, games, and comics. I’m not immune from this. I made a whole comic in 2016 about people hunting a Wendigo that got loose on Halloween night. But if I had known in 2016 what I know now, I would have written that comic very differently.

There are variations of the Wendigo story and how it’s told, but the core of the story goes something like this:

A human, in winter, ordered their brother to go hunting in the woods and bring back food. The brother comes back with food, but the human is never satisfied, demanding more and more food. Eventually, the human eats their brother. This turns the human into the Wendigo, a monster cursed with eternal hunger who can never be satisfied. The Wendigo can sound like a human, but it’s always mimicry – the Wendigo’s goal is always to keep eating until there is nothing left.

White people are sometimes told that this story is a cautionary tale about cannibalism in winter. The truth is this story came about in Indigenous communities as a commentary around capitalism. Capitalism is a system that encourages Wendigo behavior – monsters who were once people, demanding more and more, never satisfied even when there is nothing left to harvest.

Combating Wendigo behavior is a multi-prong strategy: it’s resisting it in summer, when there is abundance everywhere. It’s expressing gratitude for what you have been given. It’s taking responsibility for your actions and partaking in the Honorable Harvest. It’s never taking more than you need because there are nonhuman creatures that also rely on the water and the earth.

But there was one question that came up several times in the Intersectional Reading Group regarding Wendigo. “How do you stop Wendigo behavior in other people?”

I thought about it, and to answer that question, I want to dovetail the conversation again, specifically into discussions of “AI”.

“AI” is a label a lot of tech bros and billionaires are slapping onto everything, from large language models (or LLMs) to Photoshop (which, for the record, is not AI. Tech bros love slapping the label of “AI” onto things that are not actually AI because they want to paint the picture that it’s inevitable and you cannot resist it).

The other truth about “AI” is that the term is specific to LLMs and image generation programs that are “trained” by feeding the software data. And much of that data fed into the software is literature, art, illustrations, personal information, and other creations made by people. Did the tech bros ask for permission from the artists, the writers, and the people? No. Tech bros stole it. All of it. There is a reason many artists are against AI, and most of the argument comes down to “stop using my art without my permission, you talentless hacks trying to pretend to be artists without doing the work of actually learning to draw. I know you are doing this to cash in on being perceived as an artist without actually doing the work. Stop profiting off of my work and learn to draw yourselves.” And credit where credit is due – there are people who learned to draw because these LLMs and image generators could not capture what it was they were trying to do. And once they learned to draw, they loved it and stopped using the programs. But the programs are still around, because it’s easier for some people to pretend to be artists by theft.

“AI” is also “trained” by “curators.” These “curators”, as was revealed by investigative journalists, are actually laborers in places like Kenya and Uganda, who are forced to scan the worst content on the internet to “train” the AI into recognizing what is violent or pornographic. The content they are forced to see is so awful that many who take the jobs quit within a year and have to get treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder. But tech bros don’t want you, the average person, to know that’s how “AI” gets “refined”. Tech bros want to paint the picture that “AI” can “train itself.” It cannot. It relies on the labor of people, who are chewed up – eaten alive, you may say.

In Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer writes a story about what she would do if she encountered Wendigo. And her strategy is to make a pot of buckthorn soup. And when Wendigo bursts down her door and demands to be fed, she feeds it the buckthorn soup. From the book, “A small dose of buckthorn is a laxative. A strong dose is a purgative, and a whole kettle, an emetic. It is Windigo nature: he wanted every last drop. So now he is vomiting up coins and coal slurry, clumps of sawdust from my woods, clots of tar sand, and the little bones of birds. He spews Solvay waste, gags on an entire oil slick. When he’s done, his stomach continues to heave but all that comes up is the thin liquid of loneliness.”

Artists, writers, and programmers online have found a few different ways to stop “AI” LLMs and image generators. One of the best, but riskiest, ways to do it is to “poison” the programs. One can do this by feeding specially-coded images into the programs, and setting up Markov text generator programs that catch the “AI” software and forces it into nonsensical text rabbit holes. These make it so that the “AI” programs are unable to “generate” anything. Or if they can generate anything, anything the “AI” programs spit out is gross, nonsensical, and useless.

It’s not just poisoning the Wendigo. It’s also treating anything that Wendigo touches as poison. In regards to AI, I have some good news, though I have to give some context.

The Eisners are an award ceremony in the field of comics. Named after Will Eisner, who was a master with ink brush and was one of the first artists to treat comics seriously as an art form, the Eisner Awards are highly regarded in comics. Think of it like the Oscars, but for comics. And within the last month, the Eisners dropped someone from consideration for the awards because their submission used “AI”.

It’s not just awards ceremonies that are banning “AI generated works.” Art expos, gallery shows, calls for submissions into magazines and publications, festivals, and more places are updating their policies to say “no AI generated work will be accepted.” These organizers do not want the poison in their wells. They have found the Wendigos, and the poison they are vomiting.

But what about the Wendigo who was once human? Is there a way to bring them back to humanity?

In Robin Wall Kimmerer’s telling of how she would encounter the Wendigo, she continues. She tells us that after Wendigo is poisoned from the buckthorn soup, she will go back and get a healing tea. She reassures it that this new tea is not poison. It’s a mix of strawberries, maple, silverbells, and other herbs that inspire connection, gratitude, and healing. She says, “There is just one more part of the medicine. I am no longer afraid. I sit down beside him on the newly greening grass. “Let me tell you a story,” I say as the ice melts away. “She fell like a maple seed, pirouetting from the autumn sky.”” And tells the story of Sky Woman, a story about human and animal working together to build Turtle Island.

Tech bros and their ilk are, fundamentally, lonely. They can have 14 children and billions of followers on social media, and still not know love. All they know is how to take and take. They have not been shown how to express gratitude or thanks. They do not know the work it takes to make art, or make the flowers grow, or sing the song of praise.

Let us sing our songs, dance our dances, make our art, grow our flowers and berries and herbs, and share all of these with each other. Let us give our Thanksgiving addresses. Robin Wall Kimmerer teaches that this is how we defeat Wendigo behavior – we build our communities. We take care of each other, including our nonhuman kin. If Wendigo wants to shed their skin, leave behind their poison, and join us, they can – but they have to put in the work.

It takes work to build our communities and be good stewards of the land and water. But Nature rewards those who put in the effort. And that reward is love.

Wait, Someone Was Going to Die in The Legend of Jamie Roberts??

pencil sketch of an older man with pronounced cheekbones saying (with a smile), "This way, boys."

I’m going to reveal a plot twist that ALMOST happened in The Legend of Jamie Roberts…

In previous drafts of this story, Basho was going to die in Chapter 14. I even had the fight scene outlined and some rough sketches done!

But then, after everything that’s been happening in my personal life over the last few months (that then culminated into the last few weeks of August), I decided on a different direction.

Now, to me, it’s more important to have a story where family estrangement is necessary. Not only necessary, but healthier. I wanted to see a story where siblings (even twin siblings) become estranged from each other and it’s better that they separated.

In a way, that also reflects in the backstories of Jamie, Thomas, and Daniel, as well! All three of them left their families of origin, banded together, and became pirates. Exploring that may be the subject of a future mini-comic!

And the funny thing is, after deciding on this new narrative direction, the inspiration flowed back. Jamie and friends even started appearing in my sketchbooks again!

I wanted to share this with you to give a peek behind the curtain as to what almost was. But I’m jazzed about this other direction the story is taking!

To read The Legend of Jamie Roberts, check out the official website. And sign up for my newsletter to keep up with updates.

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!

You. Are. Awesome.

More Blog Posts Incoming

image of a desk covered in papers, pens and pencils, an x-acto knife, a sketchbook, and a mug full of tea

Yus, there are more blog posts coming to the site during the month of April.

Why? Because I have a lot to write about, surprisingly.

There’s a handful of blog posts series coming this month, including:

  • Adventures in Moving: updates on my moving situation, as I’m looking to move house this summer.
  • Writing for Comics 101: pro-tips on how aspiring comics makers can write better comics.
  • Freelance Lifestyle: how to live well on a budget, land and fulfill gigs, and maximize your energy and focus.

I’ll also be continuing my Throwback Thursday art posts on (you guessed it) Thursdays. I like this trend and I’m going to maintain it.

Adventures in Moving will start updating on Tuesdays.

Freelance Lifestyle will update on Wednesdays and will run for 4 weeks.

Writing for Comics 101 will updates on Fridays, starting on April 17, and will run for 4 weeks.

The short-run blog post series might continue if there’s enough demand for them. For now, we’re starting with this.

If there’s a topic on any of these posts that you would like me to cover, let me know in the comments!

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!

You. Are. Awesome.

What’s Inspiring Me Right Now

A long while ago I wrote a post about my inspirations. Some of those still hold true (looking at you, Paprika). Some, however, have moved to the shelf so I can focus on some new inspirations.

Here’s what been getting my creative juices flowing recently:

KINGDOM HEARTS 3

I loved this series as a teenager. Then I hated it. Now I’m back to enjoying it.

This series is NOT flawless. But it’s like a cup of tea with a bar of chocolate: the best self-indulgence you can get without thinking too hard about it.

Really, the series is at its best when you’re not thinking about the plot. Though, as SuperButterBuns put it, the plot isn’t that confusing: it’s just a lot to remember.

(I also do the Crash Bandicoot logic of boss fights, in that the bosses in the previous games didn’t “die.” They were just defeated once and then came back for Kingdom Hearts 3.)

So what about Kingdom Hearts 3 has been getting me inspired? Well, I’d be lying if I said anything other than “The Organization.”

Or seeing Woody from Toy Story tell one of the Organization members to piss off. That scene gave me SO MUCH LIFE.

Also, Kingdom Hearts fans will get this reference: Yeetas Vanitas.

There’s tons of silly, charming character moments in Kingdom Hearts 3 in particular. Is the voice acting as good as the Union Cross: Back Cover movie? Nope. But the character banter is on point, more so in this game than in any other Kingdom Hearts installment.

And, well, the Organization and the mystery behind each member just intrigues the hell out of me. Not to mention that the characters themselves make good warm-up sketching material. Every character looks and acts differently. And I appreciate that.

Ok, I’ll move on to the next piece of inspiration before I gush anymore:

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD

From Kingdom Hearts’ absolutely bonkers plot to a story with a damn-near flawless plot. Yes, FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood’s story is so expertly woven that it’s really McFreaking Hard for me to find a fault with it anyplace.

Every character has a purpose. Every motivation makes sense. And the action of this series is driven by the motives of the characters, not some invisible hand dragging them by the nose under plot contrivance.

Also, much like Kingdom Hearts, the character designs for FullMetal are just superb.

Really, though, it’s the writing and how the story moves forward that’s been inspiring me the most. It makes me want to write.

I doubt I will ever write anything like Brotherhood. But it gives me something to aspire to, and a benchmark to look at whenever I lose focus.

TRIGUN

Above anything else, the humor (and one other thing) of this series has been inspiring me the most lately.

The other day I was marathoning this show in the background while I was doing studio work. And yet the show still makes me laugh, even when I’m not watching it directly.

There’s a soft spot in my heart for any character who fulfills the Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass trope well, and Vash the Stampede is the best embodiment of this trope.

Also, the very first episode of this show is the best introductory episode of any anime I have seen thus far. Period. Don’t believe me? Watch it for yourself. You’re welcome.

Did you know Studio Ghibli (yes, THAT Studio Ghibli) did the animation of some episodes of Trigun? When I learned that, it blew my damn mind.

This is also another series with some damn good writing to it. But for a different reason: FullMetal’s focus was on the characters and motivation. Trigun’s focus in the writing is on the world-building, and Vash’s connection to it.

Once you see the conclusion of Trigun, you will realize there’s no other story like it. And that’s what inspires me.

That’s all for now. I’m gonna’ get back to drawing.

Thank you for reading!

You. Are. Awesome.

P.S. Another fun fact that blew my mind: the English voice actor for Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts also did the voice of Detective Konakawa in Paprika. Now I can’t look at Xemnas half the time without thinking about Konakawa’s dream antics.

Self Care for Artists: A Personal Journey

I’ll be blunt – I have generalized anxiety disorder.

It’s not that people make me go, “Oh no I said the wrong thing they’re gonna’ hate me etc.” That’s social anxiety. I don’t have that. I do not fear making a dang fool of myself in front of other people.

No. My anxiety stems more from future-based thinking. Specifically, I’m REALLY good at worst-case scenarios. And my trigger for cooking up worst-case scenarios is getting a bit of unexpected (especially bad) news.

So, in a video I made fairly recently, I said that my living situation was looking to change within the next year. That’s because of two things:

  1. I currently rent my house from my mom while she and her boyfriend do the RV-lifestyle thing. And,
  2. Mom said (at the time of the video) that she was looking to sell the house I’m currently renting within the next year.

She has since changed her timeline and decided the house won’t be listed for 2 to 3 years at the soonest. But when I first got the news, when she told me the 1-year plan, my anxiety kicked into High Time Worst-Case Scenario Cooking Mode.

That, coupled with dealing with my emotions around the death of my grandfather at the beginning of the year – and those feelings resurfacing because we sold/auctioned off the estate – meant that I was in Emotional Shutdown.

Right on the same week that The Legend of Jamie Roberts, Chapter 1 on KickStarter wrapped up, and right around the same time that one of my side hustles decided, “you should work 35 hours this week!”

So there was a period where I took 4 days off of EVERYTHING in order to take care of myself. No studio work. No side hustles. No freelance. Nothing.

And in that four day period, and in the days after, I had a realization.

The thing is, I’ve made drawing and making art my full-time thing. Drawing and making art is what pays my rent, my groceries, and basically everything else. I do not regret making my art be able to do this, and I’m proud of the fact that my art can do this.

BUT.

There are a lot of self-care guides out there that recommend that people “make art” as part of taking care of themselves and having time to relax.

Let me be clear: I do make art for self-care, as well as for work. It’s just that the art I make for self-care is VERY different from the art I make for work.

I love comics. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it my job.

But when I’m in Emotional Shutdown Mode, I do not draw comics. That’s work. Instead, I crochet. I bake. I paint. I do anything but make comics.

Most importantly, I discovered – when I take care of myself, I WRITE.

I’ve been writing so god-diddly-dang much these past two weeks, but not on email newsletters or comic scripts or blog posts.

I write stories.

(Granted, the one story I’ve been writing for self-care purposes is fan-fiction, but it still counts as writing. The act of writing, whether fan-fiction or not, is an act of practicing the skill.)

Do all of these stories I write for self-care become comics I make? God no. Especially the fan-fiction. That shit is for ME.

But for some reason, writing is the catharsis that makes me less angsty. It is the thing that stops the Emotional Shutdown train of thought. And it is the first thing I turn to whenever I feel the Worst-Case-Scenario-Cooking Mode begin.

If you’re an artist, I hope this helps you get some ideas of what you can do for your own self-care. Yes, making art is great. Making art for a living is even better. But you don’t have to be making art all the time in order to be valid.

It’s ok to take time for yourself. And it’s ok if taking care of yourself looks like something besides making art. You have permission to not make art in order to take care of yourself.

Thanks for reading.

You. Are. Awesome.