Fuck; or, The Motion of the Ocean

WARNING: the following blog post is about sex. Children must read this post.

So I was reading my campus newspaper when I came across an….”interesting” article in the Forum section, where students are allowed to say anything. The article discussed the importance of saving sex for marriage (click on the link and it will take you there) and why they should wait to “unite in this intimate way”.

I’m not really surprised about her stance. She had also written a previous article wherein she mentions the “blessed Pope Benedict” whatever number he is now, so it’s safe to say she’s Catholic.

I’m not saying all Catholics are like this, but I think I can assume, that since she proclaims sex as “the ultimate expression of love”, that she is a virgin.

Only virgins (and poets, and virgin poets) see sex as “the ultimate expression of love.” I know for a fact that it’s not.

That’s right. I’ve had sex. A lot.

(Not a LOT a lot, because I’m not a slut, but enough to know what I’m doing).

And I will say this about your first time having sex: I don’t care if the first time you ever have sex is with your husband, your boyfriend you’ve been dating for three years, or some guy or girl you picked up at the bar…your first time having sex will be AWKWARD.

Firstly, you have to get over seeing another person’s nads. Secondly, you have to get over the worse fear of showing the other person YOUR nads. Thirdly, and this is a problem mostly for the girls, there’s a membrane called the Hymen that still needs to break, and I will say this: it doesn’t always break completely the first time. It may take multiple times to have sex before it can be comfortable for you. So your first time having sex won’t really be enjoyable. Sorry. Fourthly, the partner will realize that since this is the girl’s first time, that he’s causing her pain, so he’s indecisive whether to be gentle or to hammer it in to get the pain over with, and things get all kinds of weird.

If you really love this person and are willing to get over all this awkwardness (and potential pain), then kudos to you. Not everyone is. That’s why there are sometimes break-ups (and the really expensive break-up, the divorce).

Sure, sex can be an expression of love, but I am of the firm belief that sex is just a bodily function: it’s like sleeping or pooping. Everyone does it, and it’s necessary for us to function like people. To treat sex like it’s sacred would do it a disservice. It’s like treating every burp as if it were an act of love.

This is not to say that sex isn’t fun! I WILL say sex is more enjoyable the more times you do it with the same person, because you will know what turns your other on (and, more importantly, what turns your other off).

I respect this girl’s right to say what she wants to say. I just hope that she keeps all these points I just made in mind.

Sex isn’t sacred. It can, though, with a lot of practice and the right person, be a LOT of fun.

So keep banging away!

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